How to connect deeply

Last week I shared about how I connected with my friends regardless of where they are in the world. I just love connecting with people on a deeper level, I enjoy listening to their stories and the best part is, many times I left feeling inspired and more energized. ✨

I am so grateful to be surrounded by the people I love the most, my loving friends and family. However, I also love to connect with new people, old friends, those who I admire, or anyone really. It’s refreshing!

This week, I found myself in coaching conversations quite many than my usual week, with clients or friends, doesn’t really matter. My purpose is simply to connect and support them as much as I can.

In one of the conversations, we talk about how to connect deeply with others. Such an interesting topic.

Let me share you the nuggets…

Connect without agenda

Let’s set intention when we connect is truly to connect. Quite frankly I don’t really believe ‘networking’ as in term where people try to connect with agenda.

When we connect, we genuinely want to connect. No agenda, no judgment. Plus.. people can actually sense the vibe when your energy is needy. 🙈

Last week I sent this text to an old friend: “Hey dear, I was thinking about you. How are you doing.. how’s life.. family? Would you like to catch up sometimes? No agenda, only love. What do you say?” ❤️.

And she was thrilled. I really miss her, and we will connect very soon over Zoom! I can’t wait to hear more from her, what she’s up to knowing that she recently had gone through rock bottom in her life.

Furthermore, practice deep listening.

Just as connect, we listen to listen. We listen not to respond or even give our opinion (unless asked). If some opportunities comes when we connect, then that’s a bonus. If not, then that’s great too!

When we genuinely connect from the heart, only good things happen.

See the person in front of you as a fellow human being

Many times we are trapped with the idea that this person in front of us is ‘different’ in regards to their knowledge, job title, or even social status.

The truth is we are all human beings. We want the best for ourselves. We want to feel love, to love, and to be loved. We care about the people we love the most.

So maybe instead of focusing more on the things that we do in the surface, why don’t we talk more about how we see our life, our family, and things that are exciting for us and why we love them.

People are beautiful. We are all beautiful.

Go further than you can see with your naked eyes, and you can always initiate the conversation by asking first. Start with, “How’s family, your spouse/kids?”, “What ‘s exciting for you right now?”

Be curious

Simply be curious with the person in front of you. I love what Rich Litvin said, “it’s not about being the most interesting in the room, but being the most interested person. “

Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves that we want to always have opinion on things, or know-it-all. We are not fully present as we keep thinking about what we want to say next. It’s not actually bad, as it comes from the place of love. We just want to give out our best self.

I used to be like this all the time. But the thing is, sometimes we forget to give space to the person in front of us to fully express themselves.

Let them be, honor and respect them as they are.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.“
Maya Angelou

Be open and vulnerable

The key to developing deep connections is to be open wholeheartedly. Many times we hold ourselves back and only share cool things about ourselves.

We don’t wanna talk about how we feel inside, and the challenges we face as we feel we are strong enough to hold it.

When we share our vulnerability, it’s actually what connects us the most. Talk about our dark side, our dark times, or how we learned from them.

This might be not easy, but it’s not impossible. You will develop a deeper sense of connection, with love and compassion.

As for the tips, these questions might help you to open a deeper conversation..
– How are you feeling, really?
– What’s bothering you right now? what’s on your mind?
– What do you need?
– How can I support you?

And I love this question from Rich Litvin, “what I don’t want you to know about me is that… “. I tried this question with one of my friend recently and it was amazing. We cried, held space for each other.

Don’t forget be kind to yourself. If you’re not ready, then it’s totally okay.

So will you connect more deeply with the people around you this week?

Share in the comment you want to share or have more tips on connecting with people. I’d love to read it!

My wish you for you is that you connect with others deeply, be it your partner, family members, friends, old friends, colleagues, or your clients.

Have a heartfelt and connected week. 🙏

With love,
Coach Inuk ❤️

Ps. Baca juga artikel ini dalam Bahas a Indonesia

Ps . I’m on a mission to help you create the most fulfilling extraordinary life you love. So when, you’re ready, transform your life dramatically with my coaching program or find out how my executive coaching program helps you to create an extraordinary professional and personal life.

*Photo header by Harli Marten on Unsplash

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