Last week I had a consultation coaching session. It was a really nice session, and I got to understand the person’s business and his personal objectives. I’m just happy to serve in the best possible way. By the end of the session, I asked him, “Was this session useful for you?” He said, “Honestly, no.”
While I tried to keep my professionalism outside, I felt my heart was broken inside. I thought I had served powerfully, turned out I might didn’t. My ego hurt.. I feel sad, it feels like I’m not competent and I question myself, what did I do wrong.. 🥲
What…
Long short story, I finally processed this, and kind of did a small research. It’s called “negativity bias” and it’s more common than you think.
What is negativity bias?
Negativity bias is a psychological phenomenon where humans tend to pay more attention to, remember, and be affected by negative experiences or information compared to positive ones.
In other words, people are more sensitive to negative events, emotions, or information than to positive or neutral ones.
In the past, this was a survival mechanism as we faced to potential threats and dangers. In order to protect ourselves, we paid attention more to negative experiences so than we can learn to keep ourselves safe in the future.
Can you imagine how life looked like when we lived in a cave, or when we were hunters and gatherers?
So, what to do about it?
Here’s some simple steps that I took in order to process this negative feelings:
1) Create a distant
Create a space between you and your thoughts. Though it might be not easy, you can always bring your awareness a little higher. You can contemplate or meditate on this. Find that space in your mind where you can observe your experience from above, or the third person. 🧘🏽♀️
However, if this is too hard, next steps can be really useful to help you with.
2) Talk things out
If you are someone who like to process your thoughts while speaking like me, you might want to talk things out. I looked for a support, my coach helped me to process this negative thoughts I had before it went too far.
Alternatively, you can always talk to someone whom you trust and who can provide you with a safe space, like your best friend or partner. They are the ones who love and support you no matter what.
3) Gratitude
Being thankful is definitely a cure for many things. We often forget there are more positive things in life than that one negative experience.
As for me, I completely overlooked that at the same week, another client shared her honest review about the group coaching program I ran last month. It was so beautiful… I re-read this and feel moved, realizing how much I forgot all the positive things that also happened in my life. 🥹
4) Love and compassion
In the end of the day, it’s really about bringing more love and compassion to ourselves. We’re just human, and it’s okay to feel this sometimes. Well, coach juga manusia ya. 😁
Know that there is no failure, only lessons.
This is my biggest lesson from this experience. Furthermore, I also learn that I need to improve how I start out a coaching session. I finally realized that the reason it happened that way because I completely forgot to give a proper introduction on what can be expected of a coaching session.
.
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So, what did you learn from your last ‘negativity bias’?
My wish for you is that you always remember how good life is no matter what.
Life is beautiful indeed. ❤️✨
With love,
Tri
Ps. Are you ready to create the most extraordinary fulfilling life you love? Learn about my coaching program , or book your first coaching call here
TRI NURAINI 
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